Sunday, February 22, 2015

'Comedic' from SamuliS - 'Cut the Crap'

Finan was starting to get tired of tagging along with Ser Heinrich the Pious and his fellow Paladins. He'd gone with them in the hopes of getting a boost for his fading career as a palace Bard entertaining fine ladies. Ser Edward was on a quest to rid the land of evil and Finan had figured that writing great songs about Edwards deeds would grant him a renewed contract within the bard industry. He should have known to stay away from them from Edwards epithet, but he was getting desperate. The last straw had been when Edward had turned away two elven sisters who had asked to join the group, because they would tempt him to lead an evil life of lust and joy. Finan couldn't believe somebody would actually be so foolish, after all it was the bards job to make everyone look mightier than they were. Even his fighting was devoid of any elegance. It was deadly efficient, but didn't offer much to be sung about as there was no finesse as Finan saw it.

Still there was some relief as the evil sorcerer had fortunately had the decency to install a proper toilet in his tower that they had just cleared. The shape was odd with clawed feet and a face on the water reservoir, but after having to do his business in bushes on the way the feel of porcelein on his bottocks was sweeter than he could ever have imagined. He could spend hours here dreaming, but the darned paladin was calling again to continue their journey. Reaching for paper one of the toilet's hands moved in to give it to him. "Ahh... the wonders of modern sorcery", thought Finan as he reached to take a piece. At the same time he started to feel a slight tingling sensation in his manhood as water splashed into it only to be followed by a horrible grab as he was pulled into the bowl... 

So let's cut the crap (pun intended) and move to the hard facts...

Going old school for this bonus round with a 80s Citadel Chaos Toilet sculpted by the great Aly Morrison. This is probably the most random miniature that I own (and all the other random stuff also seems to be from Citadel...) I'd seen some pictures before and when I saw one going cheap on eBay last summer while hunting for Oldhammer Chaos Warriors I knew I'd have to buy it. It's been sitting on my desk since summer waiting for inspiration to strike and what better than the Comedy portion of the challenge :)

Sculpting is decidedly 80s styled and way over emphasized everywhere, but hey it looks great. Too bad Citadel has started to function like a business and crazy stuff like this doesn't get made. There's actually two more toilet themed sets from Citadel and I figure I have to get them too to join this one.

There is also a semi-historical aspect to this with everyone whose been in the military knowing what the toilets look and smell like after coming from a longer training period and everybody is embracing the sweet porcelein. The smell would suggest something like this is coming after you after devouring the previous guest.

I wanted to stay with more Candy colours for this partly to have some change to the decidedly dull colour schemes of WW2 historicals and also because everything in the 80's was extra bright. I did take a slightly more modern approach by applying some of the newish Citadel effects paints to create blood splatter and some seeping slime. The base was a simple green stuff affair with some stone floor tiles sculpted in.


  1. What a marvellous classic throwback. You did this fine piece of plumbing and demon combination with your painting. Superb. Love it! cheers!

  2. Wow, I think only the ass cannon could top this.

  3. Funny, but disturbing as well! Great job Sir.

  4. Demonic plumbing - the handyman's worst nightmare! Cheers, PD

  5. Now that's Old School weirdness at its best! and your painting does it justice.

  6. Thanks guys! Nothing beats old school citadel in wackyness!

  7. Ah I remember this coming out! Excellent stuff